I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
