Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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