Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
