Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
