dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
