who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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