Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
