Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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