Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
