I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
