this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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