The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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