Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The feeling are messing with the penis
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
