I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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