Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
