you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
