Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
