i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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