Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
