new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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