Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
