Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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