I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
