im having a threesome with these popsicles
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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