I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
