I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
