hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This baby is an asshole
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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