Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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