Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
