end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize