I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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