All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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