i would punch a child for taco bell
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My ass is underappreciated
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