he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
