all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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