the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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