Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
