I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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