Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
