i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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