I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
