a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Randomize
