Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
