Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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