NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
