I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
