so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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