I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
