are you still at the devil's house?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
