apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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