i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
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Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
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Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the raccoons are back...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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