I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
