Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
