Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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