Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
