is your mom at the bar?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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