Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
