If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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