Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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