Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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