there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
