She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter