I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
