I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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