I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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