I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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