Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your penis caused this!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
