Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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