D3 body, D1 cock
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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