WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
