remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
