are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
