It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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