Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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