Cold hands, warm shart.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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