it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
