Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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